We went and looked at another house tonight. It was a house that we had seen on the market in the past, but had since expired on MLS. It is located in Alpine, which is where I really want to be. All of the homes are higher priced in that area though. It is right at the top of our budget. The home is nice, not nearly as nice as the one we put an offer on, but its in a better area and has a much bigger yard. All things considered, I think I like it better and I think it is a better fit for our family. As the night went on I think Rachel started to agree. As we were leaving Alpine she said, “I just don’t want to make the wrong decision!” I suggested that maybe there wasn’t a wrong decision – it was just a choice… do we want new home with no yard, or old home with bigger yard, more established neighborhood? She then said, “You’re right. Why does everything have to be right or wrong with me?” That just led me to ponder when I was on my mission, in my last few weeks I started wondering what I was going to do when I got home. I worried most about what I would choose as a career. I tried to pray and read scriptures to figure out what the Lord wanted me to do. For some reason I came to the conclusion that I was supposed to be a polition. I hated politics though and had no interest in any of it. In my final interview with my mission president, I don’t know if I brought it up, or if he sensed my concern, but he said, “your job is just a vehicle for your service in the church.” He basically went on to say that I should just choose whatever I enjoy doing and that will lead me to a career that I would enjoy and give me time to spend with family and fulfill church callings (yeah, sounds a lot like my patriarchal blessing). I don’t know that I was totally convinced of his advice at first because I remember going home and looking into political science majors at BYU. Luckily I did come to my senses and I am doing what I enjoy now.
So while choosing a home is a big decision, it is still just a decision. There may not be a right or wrong – just a choice. I must say that even though it would be nice sometimes for God to point his finger at the choice that will make us most happy for whatever reason, I’m still so glad he doesn’t do that and allows us to have our agency.
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