I’m currently in Washington D.C. for DjangoCon – a programming conference. Neutron has paid my way and allowed me to come here. It’s been fun taking a break from work, learning new things and seeing iconic sights here in the nation’s capital. Honestly it would be more fun in Rachel were her to share experiences with her.
Today is my last day. I had a dream last night that chilled me and so I wanted to get write it down first thing before I forgot the details of it.
In my dream I was working in the yard. Ken & Laura showed up dressed in church clothes. It was Gehrig’s baptism day. I was almost done weeding, or whatever I was doing, then I was going to rush in and change. Rachel came out all dressed up and left with her parents to go to the baptism. No one said anything like “hurry and get ready, you’re going to miss it.” I think it was just understood and assumed that of course I would be there since I was going to be baptizing my son.
The next thing I know I have lost track of time. I don’t know how much time, I just knew I was late! I’m guessing probably about 10 minutes late, but I didn’t have time to look at a clock. If I left right now I could most likely be there to baptize him. The problem was that I couldn’t leave “right now”. I was dirty! I was sweaty and covered in dirt from doing yard work. I ran inside and started crying as I was scrambling to get dressed as fast as I could. There was no time to shower. I realized I hadn’t properly put away my suit either. I was pulling it off the floor, slightly dirty and wrinkled. I was still crying uncontrollably because as I was getting dressed I was realizing it was probably too late now anyway. There were probably there having Ken baptize Gehrig because I wasn’t there. It broke my heart! It breaks my heart now writing about it and I’m getting tears.
I was greatful to wake up and realize it was a dream. I don’t often have dreams that I feel are personal revelation, but this was definitely one of them. I know what it means. Gehrig gets baptized in about 6 months. I can’t just show up and expect to be worthy and ready to baptize him. I need to prepare now to be ready. I need to be clean. No matter how much I wanted to be there, it takes time to get ready. When I woke up I didn’t know if I made it in time to the baptism or not. I asked that question in my head and the answer immediately came back, “That is up to you.”