I got up at 4 AM this morning and went to the temple. I decided to do an endowment session, which I think was a mistake because I just can’t stay awake that early in the morning. Generally, when I go early in the morning I do about 5 initiatories and call it good. I was really struggling to stay awake through it. I wanted to be in the celestial room though. When I got there, I began to pray about my job and about moving. I really wasn’t feeling anything. I opened my eyes and looked around at others in the room. I then got the feeling that whatever I chose to do in my current situation really didn’t matter to the Lord. I don’t want to say that he doesn’t care about me or what I do, but I thought back to the time I met with my Mission President – President Markus, I was I leaving my mission. I expressed to him my concern about what to do when I got home and what career path to choose. He said that it really didn’t matter. I could do whatever I wanted to do. My career would just be a vehicle to provide opportunities to serve in the church. As we have made choices lately to put our house up for sale and leave this area (which I love) – It’s not that important that we stay. Yes, I am currently the Elders quorum president, but if I left, the Lord would find another to fill this role and it would be a good opportunity for them. Likewise, whereever we choose to move to, the Lord will have another opportunity for me to serve somewhere in his church. There may be times we the Lord wants us in a certain area, but I don’t think at this time it matters much. My most important calling will be husband and father, and I can do that anywhere.

So getting back to the celestial room. I was looking at others and I got the feeling that there were people in that room with REAL problems. Perhaps there were widows, or single sisters who were lonely. Men with great anxiety. My “problem” wasn’t really a problem. It was simply a choice. I felt very blessed at that moment.

I got up and left to go home. As I was walking out to my car, It was still dark. I noticed a red flashing light – like the ones we used to put on our bikes as missionaries. As I got closer I noticed it was a blind sister making her way up the street with her white cane on her way to enter the temple. Again, I thought to myself, I don’t have any problems. I have a blessed and often easy life. I am grateful for trials that strengthen me, and I am equally grateful when I don’t have trials to burden me.