I had a frustrating day at work. I noticed we had an open position for a Ruby on Rails position. I thought it was odd because we have no Ruby on Rails projects at work. I started asking around and learned that while I was out last week Joel (VP of operations – my boss) and Dan (CEO) made the decision to find a Rails developer to work on Job Dash rather than have me work on it. 

It really frustrated me because first of all they didn’t talk to me about it or even bother to tell me. Second, Job Dash is the project I wanted to work on, but I’ve been waiting for the front-end design work to be finished before getting started on it and I have been working on a new stats system which is mind-numbingly boring work.

It made me so frustrated that I wanted to immediately start sending out resumes and applications for a new job.

I decided to go out for a walk. I calmed down a bit, but I’m still frustrated. But, the words of my patriarchal blessing came to me where it says, “If you feel you are being mistreated or unfairly judged, don’t retaliate. Instead, show forth an increase of love and this marvelous give of love will work miracles for you.”

I have had this portion of my blessing come to me at various times and it is most often in the home and has to do with a family member. This was the first time I ever had it come to mind in a work setting!

But I believe it is a true principle. I’ve decided I’m going to try to talk to Joel about it tomorrow to see what he is thinking before I do something completely irrational.

The main problem is that I’m such a people pleaser that I can’t stand the thought of someone thinking poorly of me or my work. For the past ten years I’ve felt like the all-star around work, now I feel like I’m being looked at as a benchwarmer. I’m not comfortable in this spot — especially being the highest paid programmer at Neutron.